I remember that day so clearly. The way the maple leaves swayed in the wind; as if in slow motion, they moved eerily against the churning blue-black clouds. Everything seemed so still around me yet the air was ferociously blowing. A moving van had just pulled away from the house across from mine. He stood there, arms folded in front of him, brooding on his peeling front steps; the rain plastering his long brown hair to his head and shoulders. Even from where I sat, I could see the drips of water fall to his near heaving chest. I couldn’t tell from where I sat, but I thought he might have his sights set in my direction.
What could have him so upset? Maybe his new home was now miles away from his old life and he was bitter or did he see me perched at my little desk by the window, peering at him? He'd have to get used to my face in that window, I thought. I was always there, sitting, watching the public school kids romp off to lunch while I pretended to do my schoolwork, wishing to be one of them. My parents had decided not to enroll me that year; they didn't want their good girl being tainted by any bad seeds. They weren’t able to have kids themselves so I was adopted; though my mom always joked that they had found me by the river and took me home, then sheltered me from as much as possible. But I'd wait, and watch as the kids paused in front of my window to smack each other's hats off or suck face with the opposite sex; taunting me. I wished to be kissed like that.
The new boy was huge; like a linebacker and I could tell he was young, maybe a year or so older than me. His features were perfect, even in their state of pissed off attitude; his well defined cheekbones and perfectly symmetrical face made him beautiful beyond words and his square jaw tensed visibly, even from across the street. But what I couldn’t get passed were his lips, full and sensual; could he be my first kiss? Not likely, with Mandy two houses down from mine; long blonde curls and a body like the playmate of the year. My hair was a mousy brown and stick straight, nothing about me stood out, except maybe that I was an average girl of average height. Who would choose me over her? Especially not him; him, with his broad shoulders, and perfect pouty lips even more exaggerated with his demeanor. I wanted to know what was churning in that head of his. But I was too nervous to walk over to just find out his name, let alone ask him something so personal.
As I tried to imagine his voice telling me the secrets of his universe; eyes riveted to his unmoving form, I reached for my soda and missed. The bubbles sprayed across my math book which I was sure would make the pages swell. The can rolled to the floor with a fizz and I ducked to retrieve it, reluctant to stop my stalking from afar. When I righted myself, he was gone. That was the end for me; my infatuation with who he was began.